Hell-welcomes-you
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Tabula Rasa.

shotaadmiral:

Too long; Didn’t read version :

I’m now going through a few changes, like deciding which muses to abandon and which to keep, who to follow and who to not follow and the likes. Under the read more there’s my reasoning.

The muses that I will keep will be moved onto my new multimuse blog, found HERE

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What is a “Hero”? [1-year anniversary drabble]

thebetrayedbetrayer:

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In the death of the night, one lonesome devil sits in front at the monitors of his spying room, his eyes lazily moving from screen to screen, his mind elsewhere. Displayed, there were many different locations and people, some of them fighting against strange creatures, others sleeping and even more doing all kinds of adventurous stuff. If one had to enter said room, they would ponder what exactly was the Devil searching, but if they were to look for themselves, they would quickly end up understanding what all of those people had in common.

All of them were what people called 'heroes'.

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What is a “Hero”? [1-year anniversary drabble]

image

In the death of the night, one lonesome devil sits in front at the monitors of his spying room, his eyes lazily moving from screen to screen, his mind elsewhere. Displayed, there were many different locations and people, some of them fighting against strange creatures, others sleeping and even more doing all kinds of adventurous stuff. If one had to enter said room, they would ponder what exactly was the Devil searching, but if they were to look for themselves, they would quickly end up understanding what all of those people had in common.

All of them were what people called 'heroes'.

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"Honored Satan! Haven't seen you around for a while. How have you been?"
randomtengureporter

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"Ah, if it isn’t the annoying tengu the one to greet me first! I expected it to be either of my succubi, but you know how things right?" If a voice could feel heavy, stay assured that it would crush the tengu with it’s sarcasm. "Not bad, not bad. A knife in the back here, a few soul stealing there, the usual."

[Text 1] There is an alarming amount of glitter in my… everywhere. [Text 2] This either means that someone was high as fuck and threw the equivalent of a fabric's daily production of glitter in my house or some of your Angelic colleagues raided it. [Text 3] Either way I'm going angel hunting, do I have to bring a second Shotgun for you? [I hope you don't mind--]
thebetrayedbetrayer

amaitenshi:

{TEXT ONE}: Glitter? Have you been going to the strip clubs too much?
{TEXT TWO}: I have no idea what you’re speaking of, heathen. If any of us had been in your place we wouldn’t have left stripper dust.
{TEXT THREE}: I’m innocent. You know that as well as I do. If you want to start a war because of a little stripper dust you’ll need more than a couple Shotguns.

{{ ooc; I don’t mind at all! <3 

[Text 1] : As far as I know, no stripper I’ve ever hired drops this sparkly stuff.

[Text 2] : It’s not sanitary for devils, and only angels drop this stuff. Which confuses me because why would you guys even fill your wings with it. There are better things to use as make up.

[Text 3] : So unless you want me to close all the sweet shops where you live you better tell me who decided to raid the place.

[Text 4] : Do it for the Chocolate Milkshake triple deluxe we’re about to put into stores. It’s worth all the betrayal you’re going to commit. 

SUPER TEXT LIST! (Texts From Last Night Inspired)

frommemetoyou:

  • [text] Are you lost?
  • [text] NO! That was a typo
  • [text] Did you buy it?
  • [text] I think I’m a mermaid
  • [text] I know it’s 3am, but come over and cook for me. 
  • [text] Too lazy to booty call, so have this text instead
  • [text] Need to bury a body, it’s urgent.
  • [text] Are you sure there’s no monsters?
  • [text] It was an accident.
  • [text] lol fuk da police
  • [text] send me a picture and i’ll be home quicker ;)
  • [text] DO NOT READ THE LAST MESSAGE IT WASN’T MEANT FOR YOU
  • [text] Well maybe I broke my tongue!
  • [text] Please tell me you’re free today! I’ve got some big news today.
  • [text] Got a spare ticket, do you want to come?
  • [text] Do you have a spare mankini I can borrow?
  • [text] Is fancy dress allowed at the wedding?
  • [text] I was using my old baby blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
  • [text] We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead… I just rolled off and tapped out. 
  • [text] Like alphabetically, I’d say a t?
  • [text] I’m sorry if throwing up in the back of your dad’s car ruined our friendship :(
  • [text] there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night singing karaoke and drink out of juice cartons. don’t judge me.
  • [text] I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn’t need it today.
  • [text] Do you know where I am?
  • [text] My wedding is in 5 hours and I have no idea where I am. Help!
  • [text] We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would get a piggy back ride home. I’ve never been so broken.
  • [text] Is “head down ass up” an appropriate way to say good morning?
  • [text] That is definitely not healthy, in fact I’m not sure it’s legal to send that sort of picture?
  • [text] There isn’t enough cookie dough ice cream at home, so I’ll be heartbroken tomorrow instead.
  • [text] Not sure if I took a nap or went to another dimension
  • [text] ABORT MISSION! ABORT MISSION! HE IS A TRIPLET, WE DONT NEED TO FIGHT OVER HIM WE CAN HAVE AN ORGY INSTEAD
  • [text] No no don’t leave me, who’s going to walk me home
  • [text] She wheeled me home in a trolley and sad she loved me, I think I win.
  • [text] My dick just got serenaded.
  • [text] I ate the whole wheel of cheese. Help.
  • [text] I’ve been hiding under the bed for the past 20 minutes, and now they’re getting into it and it’s a little too late for me to jump out and surprise them. So expect a live sex updates
  • [text] The fridge is fully stocked. I’m either hallucinating or this is a miracle
  • [text] I need you to help me clean the house because I have visitors in less than an hour???
  • [text] Your brother is at the front door- WHAT DO I SAY?!
  • [text] It’s all fun and games till someone says you’re so pretty they could punch you and they, you know, punch you
  • [text] I’m in A&E but I don’t really know why
  • [text] Went to bed with a 10, just about woke up with a 2 and a half
  • [text] I think I’m officially a homewrecker because his wife just walked in screaming and he said it’s not what it looks like. I mean what else could it look like? I wasn’t trimming his hairs with my mouth?!
  • [text] My night ended with me crying in a gutter, I hate you.
  • [text] He’s decorated the toilet with his urine. I never want to see him ever again, tell him he has 2 minutes to get out of our house.
  • [text] Don’t talk to me! You tried to trade me for a glass of wine and a cigarette!
  • [text] I promise I’ll get everyone to jelly wrestle with us xox
  • [text] I am armed with a crown, a sash and a bouquet of flowers. Don’t test me.
  • [text] I think I got married last night?
  • [text] I think I got married on impulse last night… and after looking a second time, I don’t think i’ve made any mistakes.
  • [text] My mouth tastes like poor choices
  • [text] I didn’t let go of the mechanical bull, but they had to pull me off because… it was rough just the way I like it and I think that showed?
  • [text] If I say it was accidental you’ll just say I’m lying
  • [text] There is an alarming amount of glitter in my… everywhere
  • [text] You’re my hero
  • [text] You’re the worst thing to ever happen to me, thank you
  • [text] Have you ever had a good idea in your life?
  • [text] Are we going to end up in the hospital again?
  • [text] It’s not a good night if I don’t end up crying into your mother’s lap.
  • [text] Mark my words, your dad will be my sugar daddy, he’ll marry me and you’ll have to call me momma bear and I will interrupt your sex life with condoms and condiments.
  • [text] I’m may be allergic to nuts, but not his.
  • [text] She high fived me out of pity
  • [text] You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
  • [text] You just walked in, rated their performance, dragged in three other people to clap for them, then walked back out.
  • [text] You kept calling me baby Jesus and trying to see what wise men had to say about my hair…
  • [text] I am a responsible adult. I tied up my hair before I puked
  • [text] I am a responsible adult, I brought home a lost kitten and let it shit in your room
  • [text] I accidentally talked myself into a threesome, when did I become so smooth?
  • [text] It may or may not have been your sister…
  • [text] It may or may not have been your brother…
  • [text] If you’re not coming over with food, don’t come over at all
  • [text] Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My co-worker is talking to me about her birds having sex again…
  • [text] IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
  • [text] Buy me a helicopter, I will give you the last slice of pizza. pls. this is important. okay maybe the crust?
  • [text] Let’s never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
  • [text] I tried to put lipstick on my eyeballs, help.
  • [text] I told her my cum counts as protein shake and she sent a text to my gran saying I ate her cat.
  • [text] If you don’t fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we’re alone in your room, I’m returning you to the boyfriend store
  • [text] I accidentally sexted your mum, I’m sorry xox
  • [text] There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
  • [text] I feel like you’re pretending I didn’t bail you out of jail last night for trying to staple a cushion to the top of their car so you had a “comfy place to sit”
  • [text] You climbed the fence and then started crying because you were scared of hamsters, I really don’t know what you took, but you need a babysitter.
  • [text]  I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a “let’s fuck” way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of “let me wash your hair” way.

delinquentdevil:

Did he.. seriously become met with a ultimatum of sorts? There wasn’t any doubt in his mind where he was going after the life’s journey was set and done. However, a will such as his own liked the freedom he claimed by the efforts of his own two hands. Along with the genuine push and shove of Baby Beel. This like of talking was already making his already skeptical move dive to a darker end. In short, not much amused.

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"You know. I never ended up kicking ass for that sort of fun. Me n’ Beel were kinda head hunted by those said demons."

"Dah." A soft nod would follow the sweet and simple explanation.

"Also I don’t wanna work for you. I mean, look at who you are." There was already one demon that became overly attached to him. While there was no doubt in his mind that Satan of all people would have that sentiment, he knew his boy wasn’t prone to sharing in that sense. Their bond already had a contract sealed by blood. So, his choices were along the limited ends. There was a gem of an ideal he developed over the time of bullshit that was thrown at his life.

Men have to forge their own options. If there wasn’t a remotely favorable sort, then the conditions would just have to be set in a new sort of stone. The male’s glare kept it’s relentless stance while facing business like grin of a man whose been in this game for far too long. ‘Damn it. Wasn’t one Satan being interested enough? I mean, am I actually gonna be tied to an infinity amount of Satans by the way this path is going? Would there even be that many? The fact there was actually two is giving me enough of a headache!’

I know very well who am I, and that is why I am talking to you about this, human." Completely against his neutral face, Satan’s voice suddenly dropped a bit, becoming very heavy and deep for a second. The second after it was already back to his cheerful one, but the fact that the Demon Bodyguard’s words hit a mark that shouldn’t have wasn’t exactly something that amused the Devil.

"You see, for how much I dislike it myself, I don’t make rules. I’ve already had the chance to listen to your case, and as far as I know, the heaven’s judge already decided that, whenever or not you like it, hell is going to be where you’re going. A bummer, I know." Well, here the devil could actually empathize with him. After all, what did Oga do wrong? For as much as Satan knew, he just fought Demon after Demon to save his own skin, the fact that a Demon Lord helped him around and pretty much ‘hired’ him as a personal guard being something he couldn’t really had a voice in it. In short, the fact that he actually fought back and protected someone that wouldn’t be able to and that just happened to be an infant demon lord was pretty much what cut all his possibilities to get into heaven. A pity, isn’t it?

"Big Old G doesn’t take that too kindly. Actually, he’s probably downright livid he couldn’t see the little guy dying at the hands of a demon and just claim it as how disgusting the race is, which is why you’re not going to walk around in his turf anytime soon. As for working for me…"

The Devil then stopped for a second, letting the gears in his brain turn around, thinking about the whole situation. If Satan just went on with his work, aka throwing Oga in hell when he kicked the bucked, God would just see his whole plan coming to the desired end, and he couldn’t have that. No, he needed a way to make him mad, truly so, so that he, the devil, would have something to laugh at for at least a century.

"Well, the little one already hired you, so you’re already someone’s protegè, if you know what I mean. You, and him of course, would be still under me because of the whole Hell’s hierarchy…but I guess I don’t even need to find you a job, actually. Mmmh…"

"Alright, here’s an idea. Given that neither of us want Big Old crusty G to have the time of his life seeing someone doing good things going to hell just for technicalities, what about actually becoming a full demon yourself? No more fear of death, no more aging, you will just have to stick with your partner as much as he needs, and your powers would grow tenfold too. A win win situation, you get to roam free around the world as you please, I get to laugh at G’s face, and Bell gets to keep his bodyguard forever. What about it?"